Bumping into an ex stirs a variety of emotions, so knowing the right way to proceed may appear to be like unlocking the programming of a super computer. The good news is most of the ways to respond means a person escapes unscathed. In several situations, the experience provides beneficial insight into the individual, the past relationship and growth moving forward.
Knowing a few things about the encounter will permit a deeper understanding before acting. Often the urge to respond races ahead of reasoning, so recalling the basics can be a great practice in settling into a calmer state of mind.
* They were caught off guard too: Though easy to take a myopic view, understanding everything being felt by one party is, most likely, being felt by the other as well.
* Accept the situation: Acknowledging the fact the event happened can minimize the pressure.
* Keep it simple: A short conversation benefits everyone because there is not time for awkwardness in what is said or the silence.
Pitfalls and Problems
Running into an ex, by its very nature, is a social landmine ready to explode taking self esteem, existing friendships and current romantic relationships with it. The key to avoiding the pitfalls is to know they are there and step around them. For this to happen, a person needs a high level of emotional maturity and strength.
* The temptation to avoid them will occur early, but moving into the encounter directly will prevent the appearance of an emotional attachment.
* Speaking from a place of honesty about what is happening in one’s life demonstrates the healthy place one lives while resisting the urge to downplay or oversell anything.
* Unless coming from the gym, paying attention to appearance shows the lack of a shattered life. This proves more important when attending an event with a high likelihood of running into one’s ex.
* Manage the conversation by not promising future plans and end the exchange at a natural stopping point without lingering.
* Try to act as naturally as possible and not be overly odd, even if the ex found it charming, because this never begins as a “win them back” scenario.
* Regardless of the assessment or outcome, release the encounter as soon as possible or it might become an anchor dredging up the past.
Benefits of Bumping into an Ex
If asked, most people would struggle to find anything positive from an unexpected meeting with an ex. It is easy to see things from a negative viewpoint. However, numerous things doe surface following such an encounter. They may receive confirmation the decision proved to be the correct one, rekindle fond memories of a time of their life with other events they suppressed or be encouraged to visit a location they have avoided since the end of the relationship. These can all be seen as road markers on the destination to emotional maturity meaning a better chance for future relationships.
Though not the first thing people think of when leaving a relationship, everyone should be ready when an ex walks back into their life. There are many fish in the sea, but they are all swimming in the same sea. Accepting and taking control of their half of the exchange means no one must be crippled by the “former” part of a former relationship.