The sting at the end of a relationship leaves many people lost and floundering. In the haze of pain, one can wonder if they will every come out the other side whole even if they have suffered heartbreaks in the past. Those in pain need a course of action where they feel progress being made dealing with what they went through and becoming a better person at the other end. Let’s look at some steps for moving forward.
Take Time Away
Even the most resilient people require time to let the hurt of a break up subside. The initial days and weeks magnify the pain one is feeling. An important thing for everyone to do at this point is taking a step away from things and granting themselves permission to feel the pain. Like a seed planted in the ground, buried pain rises to spread its vines throughout a person’s life and future relationships. A hurt person will want to be well as soon as possible. A quick resolution becomes less of a catharsis and more of a burial.
Keep Busy with Other Things
Laying greater focus on the former relationship and its demise will trigger negative feelings. While self examination and evaluation of the relationship may be a good exercise at some point, this should never be done immediately at the end. Skewed perspectives will lead one to misinterpret things. One needs to take advantage of the situation. They may get away from relationships and focus on other areas.
Educate: Delving to a particular area of interest, perhaps neglected even prior to the relationship, may open up several areas. It is wise to narrow the focus to interests with personal history and avoid things one may have followed with the partner.
Explore: Travel and new activities means exposure to things. This richness creates a more interesting individual. One need only be limited by their own imagination. Crafts and hobbies often spring from this fertile ground.
Examine: During a relationship, one might lose touch with themselves making the time following an even greater challenge. Getting back in touch and casting an eye toward things going on inside may yield additional fruit over time.
Too often following a break up, people grow critical about everything. This attitude starts as a protective shell against the pain they are feeling and then morphs to encompass so much more. The first step to avoiding bitterness over a break up requires being gentle to oneself. Some have never talked to themselves, either internally or externally, with the care they would one of their friends. They need to extend the same kindness to themselves to help the healing process.
Get Out of the House
Isolation suffocates people in pain. They think lack of contact will keep them safe from future pain. While this is true on a strictly narrow sense, it creates an environment where they are only alone. Getting out of the house with friends and family will keep one connected to the world at large. This becomes critical when a desire to date again rises because it will be easier to follow through.
The pain can feel insurmountable as though it actively seeks to crush the life from the body. For that reason, acknowledging the pain without giving up one’s life to it allows for the possibility of moving through it. Staying engaged by taking time, keeping busy, being gentle and getting into the world proves the healthiest way to grow from rather than being stunted by the pain of a break up.