Couples enmeshed in relationships find themselves requiring a bond beyond those of work or even familial relationships. A conversation with a friend might stop short before broaching uncomfortable topics or entering into long held beliefs. For strong and meaningful relationships, couples need to plunge deeper into conversations, experiences and one another.
Talking Into Depth
People in relationship note communication as a sticking point for being seen and seeing their partner. One might not feel heard. Someone may believe they understand their partner’s needs. These hover near the surface. Living a deeper life requires an in depth form of communication.
Basic Structure: Most couples state their own needs easily believing they have a clear understanding of what brings them happiness, how they feel heard or the best method to explain their plans for the future. Normally, two people speaking focus on their side of the equation. Even the best communicators can miss the structure of communication being a two way street.
Deeper Action: Taking simple steps to improve deeper communication will allow couples to hear more than the things issuing from their side of the conversation.
* Quiet Setting-Shutting down devices like phones, tablets and television reduces the outside clutter.
* Repeat the Message-Stating what has been heard from their partner demonstrates the person’s investment in listening and absorbing the other half of the conversation.
* Take Risks-Sharing more than surface thoughts and feelings allow for greater trust while giving a deeper insight into what is occurring in one’s own heart.
Change in Setting
Too often people seek comfortable ways to interact with one another. Because of this safety, rarely do partners see the ones they love in a vulnerable state. Taking this risk does not need to involve shedding tears. It can be as simple as doing something out of the ordinary.
* Get Outside-Moving about in a different environment might allow for new conversations. A hike a few miles outside the city or a walking tour downtown gets the blood, mind and mouths moving.
* Try an Activity-Playing a game, drawing with sidewalk chalk or cooking a meal together permits couples to see new sides of each other. The greatest challenge is not judging each other during the “try out” period. It is often best to pick something neither has much experience with.
* Day Trip-Going on a short trip to a new town breaks up the routine. Taking a day off work during the middle of the week, go for a drive and then find a fun lunch spot where a meal can be shared offers an instant adventure. This proves challenging, but can be rewarding.
Getting Heart Deep
The hardest conversations for couples never center around simple, surface items. The things held close to the heart and well guarded challenges every couple. Too often, both are holding things back. They may fear judgement or sharing something they never have disclosed are the very reason relationships exist. Sharing hidden truths can be the hardest thing someone undergoes, but the rewards far exceed the safety of holding these secrets.
Every single aspect of living a sincere life within a relationship means taking a risk. Investing in another person, listening to them, adventuring beside them and sharing the deepest parts of your hearts with one another is not for the faint of heart. Be brave and trust the relational foundation of love. From there, a truer life awaits.