Computer dating sites sprang up as a replacement to matchmakers and nights of cold calling for potential mates at local bars and clubs. Technology eases the act of meeting. However, the onus falls to the person presenting themselves online, maybe even more so than in person, because of ways the dating profile can be customized. This means knowing what to include and responding to feedback becomes ever more critical to increase the opportunity to meet the right guy and not just a guy.
Closing Down Avenues
The laundry list of people and characteristics available through online sites means the weave of the net can be incredibly tight. Age, lifestyle, faith and other criteria lock people into certain categories from the outset. This means a site aggregating those of a particular religion may never meet someone of a different worldview.
Because of this segmenting, the profile presented should remain as open as possible to allow as many people to see it. Striking too many options from a particular list means stopping someone from hitting reply. One of psychological hurdles facing everyone centers around the belief what they want for themselves is paramount and “right.” Loosening the restrictions does not mean low to no standards. It permits the opportunity to meet someone who may show a new way of looking at the world to see if they are the right person.
Open to Fun
Stressing serious, even foundational, matters at the initial introduction torpedoes any future meeting. The profile exists in a space closer to a greeting. For this reason, hot button issues and dark moments from one’s past have no place on a dating profile. Here are some ways to hue closer to the light side and giving a chance for deeper sharing further down the line.
* Picture: Big smile, out of the house and in the sun if possible. Several sites allow multiple photos, so have a variety.
* Activities: Select a few hobbies presenting a variety of interests. Everyone likes movies, but hikers and artists can stand out.
* Clever: Take some time to personalize the profile with the real aspects of your personality. If you like a historical quote or your detailed pumpkin carving, use it.
Emphasize “Dating with Purpose”
Men reading dating profiles seek women who desire a meeting while not on an endless carousel of dates. The reason you both signed up to the site centers on finding someone and growing together. If not, there are other sites for more casual encounters. Take the dating part seriously. Meet people, go out and have fun. Someone in in a dating loop may need to reassess the profile and intent of being on the site.
All of these suggestions can feel as though you are being asked to be something you are not. Ultimately, you need to be honest on your profile, with yourself and those who respond. Take your time because rushing things will only yield greater dry spells and dates with the wrong guys. The goal should be to find someone you want to spend all your time with. So craft the right message and let the dating sites help you find the right one.